Bold of You to Assume I Own a Horse

For when you want to blend in… by standing out.
Introducing the only "Cowboy Hat" that fits in your carry-on, pairs with iced coffee, and doesn’t come with horse hair or hat etiquette. Designed for folks who love country vibes but not actual dust, this rope cap delivers vintage Western sarcasm with a breathable fit.

Is it ironic? Is it fashion? Is it a passive-aggressive way to tell someone you're not riding anything but a Bird scooter?
Yes.

🧢 Features (Hat Trick Energy):
100% polyester for yeehaw without the heatstroke

Stay-Dri sweatband for emotionally and physically cool wearers

Curved bill to block out the haters (and UV rays)

Snapback closure because you contain multitudes

Rope detailing that says, “I used to be in 4H” (but make it fashion)

One size fits most heads, egos, and weekend personalities

Pairs well with:

Denim that’s never touched a tractor

Tank tops that say "Y’allternative"

Deep existential crises in gas station parking lots

Not a real cowboy hat. But that’s kinda the point.
🤠 Neon Twang certified for the not-so-wild West.