Flight Risk Spur Sweatpants

These are not “running errands” sweats.
These are “I am two comments away from vanishing into the parking lot” sweats.

From the front they look like clean, neutral joggers. Down on the right leg is a single cowboy spur, stamped like a quiet threat. It reads less like fashion and more like a warning label:

I can and will bolt.

Pull these on when

The family group text has reached unsafe levels

You are “watching a movie together” while plotting your escape route

Jeans feel like betrayal and pajamas feel like giving up

What you are actually getting

Heavyweight fleece that hits that perfect soft but substantial zone

Relaxed unisex fit with elastic cuffs that stay put when you curl into a ball

Drawstring waist that forgives every coping snack and late-night pizza slice

Side pockets and a back pocket for phone, keys, and emergency earphones

Single NT spur print on the front right leg in vintage gold so it stays low key until someone notices

Pair them with the Barely Coping hoodie and a sherpa blanket and you have the full Neon Twang “I showed up, I survived, I am done” uniform.

Size guide